The non-hesitant answer would be, “Of Course!” And some of you may even be shocked at the audacity of such a question. Which is great because at least now the question is raised in your mind, and hopefully will encourage a healthy dialogue within about your love for Allaah.
Are we guilty of putting the needs and wants of our children before Allaah? We’d like to say that we place Allaah highest on our internal love meter, but our actions are sometimes contradictory to this claim. Sometimes we take Allaah’s mercy and forgiveness for granted by exceeding the limits of our roles as mothers and wives. For example, we may delay or miss a prayer to finish cooking a meal, or to breastfeed, or to circle the market in search of an Eid outfit or gift. Or, it’s possible that a mom won’t enforce prayer and fasting on her puberty aged children because the hours are too long, or fajr is too early, or isha too late. Then there’s the issue of non-Islamic festivities such as halloween, Christmas, birthday parties, etc. which our children are constantly exposed to. Perhaps out of sympathy and not wanting the child to feel left out we allow them to participate in these unislamic events. It just takes one puppy faced kid to make us crack, and one ill child for all Islamic obligations to be dropped. And this is precisely why Allaah said in the Quran:
إِنَّمَآ أَمۡوَٲلُكُمۡ وَأَوۡلَـٰدُكُمۡ فِتۡنَةٌ۬ۚ وَٱللَّهُ عِندَهُ ۥۤ أَجۡرٌ عَظِيمٌ۬
Your wealth and your children are only a trial, whereas Allah! With Him is a great reward (Paradise). [At-Taghaboun:15]
Loving Allah may seem obvious, but being the emotional creatures we are, we tend to have love management issues. We love our children dearly, and on a human relationship level, there’s no comparison to the natural and unconditional love a mother has for her child. We also strongly love our spouses, and we love our parents, and our relatives, and we have a level of attachment to material things as well. Alhamdulillah, our hearts are built to accommodate these different aspects, as the love for each is unique and has its place. However, love management issues arise when the wants and needs of our loved ones conflict and forces us to make a decision at the expense of another’s happiness. And that’s just part of life. But when you truly love Allaah, as He should be, you’ll never be faced with such a dilemma because Allah’s pleasure is always the priority choice, regardless of who is offended. From the essence of true belief is to love Allaah more than anyone and anything else in the world. This is what we are commanded with and it’s opposite is shirk and is, actually, a cause of destruction. Yes, that serious!
Allaah says in His Glorious Book:
وَمِنَ ٱلنَّاسِ مَن يَتَّخِذُ مِن دُونِ ٱللَّهِ أَندَادً۬ا يُحِبُّونَہُمۡ كَحُبِّ ٱللَّهِۖ وَٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓاْ أَشَدُّ حُبًّ۬ا لِّلَّهِۗ
And of mankind are some who take (for worship) others besides Allah as rivals (to Allah). They love them as they love Allah. But those who believe, love Allah more (than anything else).
And Allaah also said:
قُلۡ إِن كَانَ ءَابَآؤُكُمۡ وَأَبۡنَآؤُڪُمۡ وَإِخۡوَٲنُكُمۡ وَأَزۡوَٲجُكُمۡ وَعَشِيرَتُكُمۡ وَأَمۡوَٲلٌ ٱقۡتَرَفۡتُمُوهَا وَتِجَـٰرَةٌ۬ تَخۡشَوۡنَ كَسَادَهَا وَمَسَـٰكِنُ تَرۡضَوۡنَهَآ أَحَبَّ إِلَيۡڪُم مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِۦ وَجِهَادٍ۬ فِى سَبِيلِهِۦ فَتَرَبَّصُواْ حَتَّىٰ يَأۡتِىَ ٱللَّهُ بِأَمۡرِهِۦۗ وَٱللَّهُ لَا يَہۡدِى ٱلۡقَوۡمَ ٱلۡفَـٰسِقِينَ
“Say, [O Muhammad], “If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your relatives, wealth which you have obtained, commerce wherein you fear decline, and dwellings with which you are pleased are more beloved to you than Allah and His Messenger and jihad [struggle] in His cause, then wait until Allah executes His command. And Allah does not guide the defiantly disobedient people.” [At-Tawbah: 24]
Children and wealth are a trial because they test your love of Allaah as they can sometimes take you away from obedience to Allaah. We let our compassion, love, and desire for our children’s happiness get the better of us. What we forget is that Allaah is far more merciful and compassionate to our children then we can ever be. Sure, there may be a few tantrums and arguments along the way, but before you give in, remind yourself that you love Allaah more.